Decisions

"What we really want to do is what we are really meant to do.  When we do what we are meant to do, money comes to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us." ~Julia Cameron

Here I am still with no job.  I should find out about the other one I interviewed with sometime this week. You know I didn't get my dream job. This new one is basically the opposite of that one.  I would be performing as a Manufacturing Engineer.  Ordering equipment, setting up lines, establishing processes.  Stuff like that.  Not completely outside of my realm of experience or education, but definitely not where the majority of my experience has been.  Yet I have a pretty strong feeling that I will get a job offer from them.

Well, here's my dilemma. I'm not sure I want the job.  I think the people there are great.  It pays pretty good.  But it's in a bad part of town.  It's in another plant, so it's loud, noisy and dirty.  I'm not a girly girl, so that's not the issue.  But I would definitely be coming home a lot dirtier than I left everyday. It would not be an overly fulfilling job.  Not in the sense of what I've been searching for.  I need to feel like I am contributing something to society.  It's bothered me for a long time.  Granted, I did my best to help wherever I could at my old job, but at the end of the day I was not doing the work I was meant to do.

I'm not sure exactly what that work is yet. I know I can still be a valuable member of society no matter what job I do.  There are plenty of opportunities outside of a job to be useful.  But I hate to get into another job where I wonder what exactly my purpose is eight hours a day.

My other thought is to take some time off of work and go back to school.  Maybe get my MBA or Masters in Engineering.  Perhaps take a few photography classes while I'm at it.  It would allow me to be a better fit for a lot more jobs including American Greetings if that ever happens again.  I might even be able to find an online program.  I would be in a higher wage bracket.  Most importantly I would be able to drop the kids off and pick them up every day and not have to worry about paying for before and after school care.  I could be there for all school activities and I'm not sure I will be able to do that just starting a new job anywhere.  This year is going to be critical for the kids since they are starting at a new school with all new friends.  

Of course I could do the online MBA and still take the job.  That would take more time away from the kids and add to an already hectic schedule.  Wouldn't be the first time I ever did anything that crazy (work full time, school full time, raise kids) but I am not as young as I used to be.  Or I could hold out for another job.

So am I crazy even considering not taking this job in a market like we are in right now?  I don't know when another offer will happen.  This might be a great opportunity I am passing up.  And even with the degree I am not guaranteed my dream job. I really need to be doing what I was meant to do.  If only I knew just what that was...