Impulse

"Reason only controls individuals after emotions and impulse have lost their impetus." ~Carlton Simon

Well, life is rarely boring for me as you must have figured out by now.  There is never a dull moment.  Quite the opposite most days.  And the days fly by so quickly as we get closer to Christmas.  This just tends to make my life more hectic and my sleep schedule shorter and shorter.

On top of the normal chaos (that's an oxymoron - right?), every couple of days Jacob decides to "fall out."  At least that's what we call it around here.  The rest of us are going along our merry ways when something doesn't sit right with Jacob.  At this point, he begins to hold the rest of the family hostage.  I don't give into his tantrums, which only tends to prolong the suffering.  This pulls my attention away from the girls and gets unfairly proportioned to a screaming young child.

Homework is another area of torture.  For both of us.  Just picture Supernanny and her worse case scenario.  It takes about an hour to get through a two-sided paper.  He's a smart kid.  He just can't seem to focus or have the desire to.  Most of the time we don't even finish until the weekend and turn them in late.

I finally broke down and took him to the doctor's about this.  It's not for me.  I can deal with it.  But this behavior is severely affecting his classwork and doesn't seem to have any hope for improvement.  I found a great doctor through a friend's recommendation.  Any other time I pray that Jacob sits still and behaves.  Not this one.  During the forty-five minute appointment, Jacob only sat still for about ten seconds.  Even if I didn't open my mouth, it would have been completely obvious that there was a problem here.  

He has ADHD.  Not much of a shock to anyone who has ever met him.  I was hoping he would grow out of whatever it was.  But now I know for sure.  The treatment will consist of behavior modification, parent training, and medications.  The goal is not for his personality to change but to improve impulse control.  I am supposed to see a different kid in about six weeks.  It helps me and his sisters to know exactly what we are dealing with.  They've put up with it every bit as much as I have.  Probably more because he tends to be the center of attention. 

So, there it is.  I'm not a bad parent.  It isn't because I didn't raise him right or give him enough discipline when he was younger.  There is a medically documented reason for his behavior.  We'll need prayers to get through this.  Thank you to everyone who has helped so far and in advance to those who will continue to struggle with us.