"There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one." ~Jill Churchill
Well, I can add the not-so-perfect mom title to my not-so-secret life. The other day started out a bit more stressful than normal. Due to new working hours, I have to be at work at 6:15 so I get up at 5 a.m. Brianna woke up with a belly ache. She walked around for a few minutes and decided it might be gas and she's ok. Just as she's going to bed, Jacob woke up and said his cheek hurts. Since he was sniffling with a stuffy nose, I play nurse and try to clear this up and gave him a warm compress. He eventually fell back to sleep.
And now the dilemma that all working moms (and some dads) go through: do I call in sick and take care of them or are they well enough to go to school and suffer it out? If I stay home, they'll be fine by 9 and want to play the Wii all day. If not, I take a chance that the school nurse will be calling me. And since I have a new job, I am still in my probationary period. Calling off is not an option - at least not a very good one.
Bundle that with the fact that my dad was having double knee surgery the same day. Therefore, half my family was going to be at the hospital including my sister who watches them in the mornings. I made the decision to send them both to school. And I hated myself for that. Knowing that I should be at home snuggling with them instead of at work killed me. I don't think this part ever gets any easier.
I got a phone call at 2:00 that Brianna still wasn't feeling well and asking me to come get her. As if I weren't feeling guilty enough. She only has 45 minutes left of school. By the time I get with my boss and drive over, she will probably only have 10 minutes left. So I decided to stay at work and ask her if she can tough it out. She does but comes home and crashes on the couch as soon as she sits down. And on the up side, they both felt better the next day, so no more guilt trip.
Unfortunately, this is a reality for so many families nowadays. No more June Cleaver. Mom is not waiting in the kitchen with an after school snack and cooking dinner. No pretty dress and stockings (not to mention the coned bras lol). I'm more likely in a tank and shorts, ripping off the godawful underwire the moment I get a chance. Dinner is either drive thru, pizza or Spaghetti-O's if it's a soccer practice/karate/church/Cub Scout night or some microwaved version of a home-cooked meal. Homework is rushed through if not completed at 9 p.m. because they forgot. If there is consistency, it is more like constant chaos and not a flowing and relaxed "play with Eddie Haskell until the street light comes on" kind of evening.
On the positive side of things, I get off of work at 4:00 now, so I get to pick the kids up a bit earlier and feed them a halfway decent meal before we go anywhere now. I kinda sorta get to be "that mom" to some small degree. Looking around at society and how things could be for me as a single mom, I count myself very blessed.
So, I won't be the mom at all of the PTA meetings or walking into school with every hair in place in the perfect suit. I won't be sending in treats for every event, but I will probably stay up until 3 a.m. making cupcakes for their holiday party. I can't attend every in-school during school hours performance, but I'll be there for the important ones. And with a few extra hugs and kisses, I won't be a perfect mom, but hopefully they'll know I did the best I could to be a good mom.- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
