Tuesday, June 10, 2014

What's up, Chuck?

"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like." ~Lao Tzu
Second date.  I made it to a second date.  This one was going to include meeting the kids.  Which I had a firm and fast rule about - it wasn't going to happen.  Not for a while anyways.  For a multitude of reasons:  the pain, the confusion, the unknown.  And, well, because it's three kids.  And the chaos that ensues from that tornado will usually run a guy off faster than a hot knife through butter.  (BTW, if you are bored and want a good laugh, check out Funny Southern Sayings here).

Well, that being said, I broke a few rules.  Plus he had a million kids (10 but that's a story for another day).  He had already pulled the kid card on me by introducing me to his youngest daughters (and they are so amazingly awesome).  So I gave in.  It was a moment of weakness - a temporarily lapse of insanity.  I said yes to dinner with the kids.  My kids.  All three of them.  I mean - what could possibly go wrong?

Yeah.  Well, dinner was good.  I was early (and by early I mean 3 minutes.  For me, that's a record).  His girls had huge smiles on when we came in and so did he.  Good sign.  We get seated and already Jacob is bouncing around and refusing to sit at our table.  Apparently he had Oreos for lunch and nothing else to eat.  Pure sugar and food coloring is running through his veins.  This bodes well for the rest of the evening...

Everyone orders and the girls are hitting it off fabulously.  Jacob sits next to Tony and proceeds to bouncing around. The girls finish their food and ask to go outside because they are cold.  I think they were wanting to give us a chance to talk.  A few minutes of nice conversation go by and out of the corner of my eye I see four bodies walking along the sidewalk above Tony's head.  It totally reminded me of the Beatles from the cover of the Abbey Road album.  I'm distracted by the movement behind my date as the girls wave hello to everyone on the main thoroughfare and Jacob catches up and starts rolling down the hill.  I make sure Tony doesn't look back - well, because I want a third date.   

After a while we walk outside to keep the kids company and they want frozen yogurt.  We walk to Menchie's as it's just down the street and it's a beautiful night.  Everyone gets some and we chill some more on the patio.  Jacob is break dancing #becauseJacob and his girls are telling stories about their dad, trying to embarrass him.  It's going well.  As well as can be expected with 5 satellites.  

I nervously excuse myself to the restroom, knowing he can handle 5 kids, but you know, and barely make it to the door when Brianna frantically runs up to me.  I figure Jacob has broken an arm or something.  In full Brianna "drama queen" style she tells me that Kiara threw up.  Yeah.  I really couldn't make this stuff up.  I go back out and apparently she had been laughing so hard, she caused all of the contents of not only desert but dinner also to spill not-so-graciously all over the ground.  I'm pretty sure at this point the date is over, as are my chances for a third.  But he took it in stride, actually laughing at how much I was squirming and the fact that every bit of blood had run out of my face.

So, he said he was going to call me later (which he did).  His girls even kidnapped one of mine for a sleepover (I think to ensure that he would have to see me again after all that had happened).  He still talked about our plans for this weekend (that's a good sign, right?).  Well, as Lao Tzu suggests, here's to spontaneity and just "letting things flow".  Because you can't always control the situation (especially when there are 5 kids in the equation) and you never know what will happen next.