Being Good

"Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill."~Buddha

I had another blog posting ready but this is on my heart so it's going first.  I was posting these under Jacob's Journey, but I've been lazy about posting over there.  

As most of you know, my son has been diagnosed as ADHD.  It makes our lives a bit more interesting to say the least.  We've had a really good summer.  It's always easier when he doesn't have to sit still for an eight hour school day.  Well, we're back to school now.  Week one was actually pretty good.  I forgot to give him his meds the first two days and he did OK.  He was a bit better the second two on the medicine.  He has a great and understanding teacher this year so that helps.

Jacob has been a bit rambunctious the last couple days.   Today was no exception.  Luckily he got to work off some of the energy at the playground.  We went to my mom's afterwards.  While there he picked up her Magic 8-Ball (you know - the kind you shake and ask some stupid question like "am I going to win the lottery?").  He asked it if he was going to be good when he grows up.  Geez.  I about broke into tears right then.  

Where does he get the idea that he's a bad person?  You don't realize just how much he picks up on what other people say.  I picked him up in my arms right then and gave him a big hug and told him "of course you are since you are such an amazing kid already!"  Later on he was called a few more names.  He told me when we talked about it that he wanted to say something but he was trying not to get into more trouble.  I know its tough for him but sometimes I forget how tough it must be for him.  He loves me so much that he is trying not to cause me so much difficulty and he's trying to make other people happy too.

On the surface most people just see a bad kid.  They think he just doesn't listen.  They don't know that it's harder for him to focus.  He's easily distracted.  He is quite impulsive.  He has a really strong sense of justice and will "fall out" if he feels he has been wronged.  He has me telling him what to do.  He has two bossy sisters trying to either tell him what to do or get him into some mischief.  He has tons of teachers with different discipline styles all directing him.  Then the occasional family or friend trying to be helpful.  And has a dad that doesn't think there is anything wrong with him and that he can control his behavior but chooses not to.

No wonder he just gives up sometimes.  And feels like he is a "bad" kid.  He's seven.  Let me repeat that - "He's SEVEN."  Not 14.  Not 21.  Not 30.  He doesn't have life experience to tell him how to behave in public.  He learns from his peers.  Kids his age that for the most part don't act any differently than he does without having a behavioral problem to deal with.  Why do most people expect him to act like a grown up?  To sit still for an 8-hour school day.  I can't sit still that long.   I don't know many people who can.  

Why do people have to call him names?  Why do people label him?  Why can't he just be accepted as an active kid.  A very smart, very loving kid when he's allowed to be.  He's not lighting fires or knocking out people's windows with stray rocks or accidental pitches.  He's not bullying other kids.  He likes to climb.  Anything.  He can't walk - he always has to run.  He fidgets.  Put Mario Bros. in front of him and he's a statue.  Other than that he's moving unless he's sleeping.  But he'll give you a bear hug and melt you with his smile.  Especially if he wraps his arms around you and says "I love you mommy."

So give my kid a break.  And all the others out there that are just being kids.  Don't call them names.  Don't label them.  Let them be who they are meant to be.  Try to remember when you were a kid.  I'm sure we all drove just a few adults crazy.  And we turned out OK.  Most of us turned out to be functioning and contributing adults.  Let them be kids just a little bit longer.  Because before long, they'll be graduating from college.  Walking down the aisle.  Having a hard time enjoying life because of the constraints of being an adult.  It will be here before we know it.  I love you baby just the way you are!

Soccer Mom High Speed Lane

“He was always late on principle, his principle being that punctuality is the thief of time.“

~Oscar Wilde

I know, I know - I'm a bad blogger. No excuses this time. Except that I have been living life. Very well. And I did post a blog. It just wasn't on here. You can check it out at my friend Jen's website. Also, she's having a 5K run in honor of Patty and to raise money for ovarian cancer. If you want to know more about it, click here.

You're probably wondering about the title of this post. Well, apparently it is that time of year again. When the schedules get crazy. When shoes and jeans miraculously shrink two sizes and nothing is "cool" enough for the school year. Time to cruise the clothes aisles and pile the basket up with the newest school supplies. $238 and counting so far this year. And that's just the list they sent home from school!

For me, the summer has been busy. But the kids were away for five weeks. Even since they've been back they haven't had any daily activities. That's all about to change. I got a call from one of the kids soccer coaches for practices starting this week. Really? It can't possibly be time to start all over again. I'm still sorting through stacks of school projects. I've barely been swimming. It's too early to put the Soccer Mom hat on yet. I'm actually typing this in the one hour of free time I have this week - while everyone is at practice. Wow! An entire hour of the iPad all for me lol. Yeah, I could be taking a nap but what's the fun in that?

Oh, but it's time. There's no escaping it. I got off easy not having baseball this summer. Dinner at the table (well, at least some of the time.) Lots of Super Mario games on the Wii. It's been nice having the downtime. Back to the 10:00 dinners and forgotten homework that gets done at the breakfast table. Laundry at one in the morning. Sleep is highly overrated.

Well, now that it's here I have a suggestion. Actually my Soccer Mom friend Ali suggested it. We need a high speed lane specifically for Soccer Moms. This goes for baseball, softball and karate moms too. But I am "The Soccer Mom" so I get to name it. We need a lane without traffic lights that inevitably all turn red as I am approaching. One not clogged with minivans doing 40 in a 65. (Sorry - I know a lot of Soccer Moms drive mini-vans, but based upon my experience I am going to require a driving test prior to being allowed in such lanes.) One that allows us to get off of work at 4:00, drive 20 minutes across town to pick up a child, shove McDondald's down them and wash it down with Gatorade, get the child dressed and make it to the soccer field by 5.

Not as easy as it sounds. Especially when the state tree of Ohio is the Orange Barrel. They are quite fond of these in my area. And even more importantly are the 11 stoplights between the freeway and soccer and the 12 between my apartment and karate. No less than 80% of these lights will be red in between the hours of 5:00 and 9:00. After that time they will inevitably be green as I return home.

I'd even be willing to pay a fee for such a lane. It has to be cheaper than the speeding ticket I'm bound to get. And hopefully safer. I could go a more reasonable speed without all of the traffic. Maybe even make it somewhere on time...

So, until the ODOT takes my advice and adds my lane, you'll see me zipping across town doing my standard 5 MPH (yeah right...) faster than the speed limit. Throwing four karate bags, an oversized soccer bag and cub scout/Awana/choir/band/whatever else they sign up for this year bags in the back of my pickup truck. Here's to all the moms (and dads, grandparents and other awesome friends and family members that step in to help keep our children's lives enriched beyond the game consoles. My hour is up anyways. Happy back-to-school month!

Friends I Haven't Met Yet

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too?  I thought I was the only one.' "~ C.S. Lewis

I've already told you about my bff's back in TN.  I will have to catch you up with the ones in Ohio at a later date.  Today I want to talk about friends I've made that I've never met.  Yeah, I know that sounds weird.  I mean - just how close can you become with someone you've never met.  Pretty darned close in my experience.

Facebook has been an important link for me to all of my friends and acquaintances.  It's how I kept in touch with my family when I lived in Tennessee and how I keep in touch with those I left back there.  It's how I became re-acquainted with people I had not seen in decades.  And it's also how I've come to know some really incredible people.  I can't mention everyone, but here a few that stand out for me.

I met Jen through my friend Teresa.   She's the one that turned me on to blogging.  She's a published author (yeah!) and a really great lady.  Her friend Jen just happened to be writing a book.  A book about a single mom who is moving from TN to OH with her child and finds true love.  See any similarities?  Well, Teresa got me a signed copy of Jen's book (The Heart's Journey Home).  It was amazing how so many things in the book mirrored my life.

Jen and I became friends through my journey.  She shared with us her Patty, whom we lost this year to cancer.  I was blessed to have met Patty and her husband in person.  Another connection made through "friends I haven't met yet."  Jen is going to be releasing her second book soon and I can't wait.  She has asked me to be a guest blogger on her blog (I'm so excited!), so I'll be posting a link for that soon!

I've met two really great photographers through FB - Jim and Larry.  I met Jim through another friend I hadn't met yet but finally have Helena.  She had posted a link to some of his amazing photography.  Larry is right up there with him in talent.  They both have the same camera I do and give me some excellent advice on taking pictures.  They also challenge me to do better and keep my camera with me more often.  Check out their pics if you can. 

I have also met Barb.  I didn't meet Barb through FB but through my blog.  She is one of my most loyal followers and never ceases to lend a hand up or give an atta girl.  She's a great writer and I love her view of the world.  As bad as some of my past dates were, Barb shared some that made me thankful for what I did have.  She finally found her true love and helped keep my faith up that I would too.

Barb gave me my first blog award.  Wayne's keeping me pretty busy and I haven't been able to acknowledge it properly.  So here it is. 

I'm so tickled to get it.  Now the fun part:  I get to pay it forward.  Not in the "secret do-something-good-for-someone" way but the "shout-it-out-to-the-world" way I can from this really cool blog.  So, here are my five blogger pics:

http://serendipiteeblog.com/
~Teresa's blog (the inspiration for it all)

http://theheartsjourneyhome.blogspot.com/ 
~Jen, the author's blog

http://www.mysinglemomadventure.com/ 
 ~My other friend Jennifer's blog

http://midlifearmywife.com/
~A temporarily single mom's adventure

http://www.danoah.com/ 
~I'm sure Dan doesn't need another award, but his Single Dad Laughing blog is awesome and a great source of inspiration.

Please check out these blogs when you get a chance.  Maybe it will help you understand just a little better how I got like this lol!

Children

"Children are the hands by which we take hold of heaven." ~Henry Ward Beecher

Quiet.  That's what I am sitting in.   And yes, you can actually BE in quiet.  I'm sitting in this apartment and there is not a sound.  Nothing.  It's eerie.  There's always some kind of noise.

But the gentle snoring of children in deep sleep is gone tonight.  The occasional restless tossing and turning.  It's just - quiet.  

You see, the kids are visiting their dad for 4 weeks.  I was going to break it up into 2 weeks at a time, but I caved and agreed to 4 weeks in a row.  And we swapped a few days early, so it's almost going to be 5.  What was I thinking?  Until last summer, I had only been away from the kids for a day at a time and that was rare.  A week goes by pretty quickly.  But not 5.  I'm halfway through and I don't think I can handle it.   I've stayed busy up until now.  But tonight - in the quiet - I don't know if I'll make it another day.  

But of course I will.  I always survive, right?  I'll throw myself into something that takes my mind off of it a little while longer.   My amazing boyfriend has done an incredible job of this so far.  But he's out of town for a few days.   I need to keep myself busy.

So, instead of blogging about a bad date (I've had more than my fair share) or my wonderful boyfriend (there's plenty to tell there too), I've decided to blog about my kids.  Just think of it as  free therapy for me lol.

My kids are my life.  A huge portion of it that I couldn't live without.  I've always known that I was meant to have kids.  I spent a long time thinking that I wasn't going to be able to have any of my own.  And then I became pregnant.  It was an amazing time.  Three months of morning sickness and pre-baby shopping.  My family was ecstatic.   Then at 12 weeks we lost that one.  We'll never know exactly why or what happened.  I was devastated.  I fought anger and bitterness and was quite ticked off at God for letting it happen.  What I didn't know at the time was what he had in store for me yet.  I finally realized that I could get pregnant and just needed to figure out how to carry it to term.

After a year and a half, I finally became pregnant again.  I was really, really sick this time.  I went for an ultrasound at 7 weeks.  The technician looked around a bit and then excused herself from the room.  I started bawling.  I just knew something was wrong with the baby.  When she came back, she said that she needed confirmation of something...that there were two babies.  Twins!  By this time I am really crying.  What a joyous moment.  
 

And I was a nervous wreck.  Not only was I high-risk because of the first one, but I was really high-risk because I was having twins.  I prayed.  Not daily but hourly.  Whenever I had a free moment.  I was so grateful for each milestone I passed.  I did go into pre-term labor, but we were able to hold out until 36 1/2 weeks.  That's super for twins.  And I had two extremely healthy girls.  What a blessing!

You can't go anywhere quickly with twins.  Everyone, and I mean everyone has to ask.  Most people are just curious, but many ask some pretty ignorant questions.  Like - "Oh - you have a boy and a girl?"  They're both in pink with bows in their hair.  Which one is the boy?!?  Or - "Are they paternal?"  Nope - but they are fraternal.  We've kind of grown out of this phase by now.  Jacob even argued with my mom and told her that the girls weren't twins.Lol.

Fast forward two years.  Past countless sleepless nights and diaper changes in the tens of thousands.  Past hard-drives full of pictures.  Past smiles that melt your hearts and unforgettable moments.  My sis-in-law calls to ask me if I think she's pregnant.  The smell of cheeseburgers makes her queasy and she's really tired.  As she's talking, I realize I have the same symptoms.  Not only is she pregnant but so am I.  And we're due the same day with boys.  I I knew from day one that Jacob was going to be a boy.  I had no doubt in my mind that God had a special child waiting for me. 

I wouldn't trade my angels for anything in the world.  Sleep is highly overrated.  Money is too.  Who needs to keep the miles down on my car?  I was meant to be a mom - Brianna, Kiara and Jacob's mom- more than any other purpose in my life.  What I went through solidified these bonds even more.  And I've managed to let at least one more hour of my 2 1/2 weeks left to go letting you into a little more of our lives.  Thanks for letting me share and please pray for their safety and happiness while they're away! 

Where life begins

"Where land ends, life begins."~Unknown




What happens when you let go of life as you know it and set sail on the open sea? You could hit rough waters. You may get blown off course. Or, like I did, you just might find yourself stranded on an incredible island with an absolutely amazing guy.

Well, stranded might be a strong word especially considering we had a reservation. But hey - it sounded good lol! I grew up in Cleveland but I had never been to Ohio's islands. When we heard that Wayne's brothers' band Cocktail Johnny was playing in Put-in-bay, we knew we couldn't pass up the opportunity. I knew we were going to have a great time. I just didn't know how great. So how does a seemingly wonderful trip turn into something spectacular? By putting it into God's hands.

Let me back up just a little. Last summer, in the midst of my divorce, a friend of mine told me about her journey. I won't go into details because that is her story to tell. I can tell you that she wasn't in the right place with God in her relationships and decided to give it over to Him. Right after that she met the wonderful man that is her husband.

You may know that I put my move, my job search and my kids into God's hands. I took a huge leap knowing that He would catch us. I didn't, however, give him control of my relationships. I mean, why burden Him with such a small thing. He made our journey great. The least I could do was handle this part of my life.

Truth be told, I didn't want him to have control. I knew some of the choices I was making weren't the best. I figured I could keep control of this with no repercussions. Probably a good reason for my lousy dates. God was making a point. He definitely was preparing me. Tempering me as He always does when He wants to make me stronger.

But instead of a difficult trial like I would have expected as a consequence, He gave me someone amazing. A great man, one that knows the true definition of the word. Strong, protective, tender, caring. Knows just the right things to say and do. Just the right balance of family and personal life with a large shift towards family. One that isn't shocked by a night of soccer and karate but actually wants to go for ice cream afterwards. One that not only puts up with the chaos at the zoo, but actually suggests the trip.

One that takes me to an island. No, it wasn't Fiji. It was soooo much better. It's home. Not Cleveland, but almost. On my lake. The one I grew up on. The one that already holds so many memories for me. We jet off to the island with the breeze blowing through our hair. Set sail into the deep blue that we are so familiar with. There's always a point when away from shore when all you can see is water. The point when you have to let go of all that you know and trust. Trust that the boat will not sink. Trust that the captain is going to take you the right destination. In the same way I finally gave up control to God. I let him choose the right person. I let him choose where the compass was going to point. And just as I did, Wayne sailed into my life. What makes it even more amazing is that Wayne did exactly the same thing. He says that God delivered him an angel. And that's exactly how he makes me feel.

So, what do you do when God brings such an incredible person into your life? You let go of the anchor. Raise the sails. Put the boat on autopilot (or God pilot in our case). And head to the front of the boat so you can feel the breeze in your hair and the spray of the waves on your face. Brace for the rough waters knowing you are in for the ride of your life. And cherishing every exciting moment of it.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

You, me and lemonade

"Beauty is truth's smile when she beholds her on face in a perfect mirror."~Rabindranath Tagore

Lemonade?  Soccer mom is AWOL for weeks and she's writing about lemonade?  Yep!  I'll bet you're wondering where I'm going with this.  Am I in a sour mood?  Did life give me lemons?  Nope.  God gave me a very incredible night with a very incredible guy.

Let me back up.  So you know I met someone.  Someone amazing.  Someone who adores me and I adore him right back.  Someone that had to be handpicked by God he's so good for me.  The really cool thing is that he feels the same way!

He survived meeting my family.  No, not survived - thrived.  As mom said "it feels like he's been here all along."  That's exactly it.  I would say that I can't remember a time when Wayne wasn't here.  But that's not true.  I wouldn't appreciate what I have so much if I hadn't gone through all of the bad.  But he feels like home.

After the perfect first date, I had a crappy week at work.  Five Mondays in a row.  By the third Monday (that would be Wednesday if you are counting), Mr. Perfect decided to take matters into his own hands.  He decided to not only surprise me, but my kids as well.  Jacob had received a new bike for his birthday but the girls weren't going to get theirs until the end of July.  Wayne fixed up his daughters' old bike, found another one on Craigslist (because he couldn't just bring one), and brought a scooter for Jacob.  The expressions on the the kids' faces were priceless!  Not only that, but he brought flowers for mom (that's me!) as well.  He knew exactly what would make the day brighter for all of us. Then he asked if I would mind if he came to Jacob's last soccer game.  Mind?  Could he be more perfect?  He wants to come to a soccer game?  Amazing!

So, you're asking, where does the lemonade come in?  Well, our most recent date was to the Rib Cook-off in Berea.  Biker night at that.  He worked late, so we got there after most of the people went home.  There were no lines, a perfectly awful band playing some great Journey songs (where is Cocktail Johnny when you need them?), and some incredible food.  What did we wash it all down with?  You got it - lemonade.  We may have been the only two at the fairgrounds.  A seemingly normal date that was simply extraordinary.  That's how they all are when we are together.

This is what you get when you place your heart in God's hands. A gorgeous, hard-working man who is always putting you on a pedestal.  Days that turn into weeks that just get better by the moment.  A future that looks brighter every time you turn around.  And you realize that your dream world is now happening when you are awake.  So, I'm washing all of these amazing things that are happening down with lemonade.  Because what could be more perfect at the end of a great day?

Not just any other guy...

"Life is like a baseball game.  When you think a fastball is coming, you gotta be ready to hit the curve."~Jaja Q

My life is crazy.  Work, school, soccer, karate, cub scouts, church and an countless birthday parties and school activities that come up.  That being said, my family is crazier.  Really.  I love them to death and I am soooo happy to be back near them.  But they are crazy nonetheless.

Knowing they are crazy (I mean that in the most loving of ways...) what would possess me to bring a super-nice, awesome, incredible guy to meet them?   Must be the touch of insanity that is passed through our bloodlines.  Hey - we had two completely amazing dates.  How could a seemingly innocent baseball game hurt?  (Flashback to numerous dates: alien guy, emergency call guy, facebook breakup guy...OK, back to the present.)

The girls' choir was singing the National Anthem at the Lake County Captains game.  We originally had our first date planned for last night.  It was Friday the 13th, but what the heck!  It's not like Jason was going to show up....  Luckily we had our first date early.  If we hadn't - and it was any other guy - this would have been not only the first date but our last as well.  But it wasn't our first date and he's not even close to just any other guy.

A daunting prospect - meeting all three of my kids and my mom too.  We get to the game and turns out my youngest brother, sis-in-law and their two kids are there too.  That's about 20 percent of my family now.  This guy is in for a ride.  Medical Research Scientist would have called for help before we got to the gate, Facebook Guy would have unfriended all of us at once, and Alien Guy would have called the Mother Ship for backup.  And yet I turn to my right and he's still standing there.  With a smile on his face at that.  Well - maybe not a "this is the best time I've ever had in my life" smile but more of a "I think I can, I think I can..." smile.  But he's there.  By my side.

Gift shop first so Jacob can spend some of his birthday money.  We leave with our arms loaded with foam fingers and swords and smiles on the kids faces.  The girls take off to sing and mom goes for something to quench her thirst.  That leaves us and Jacob, who is bouncing like a Mexican jumping bean.  We get the typical ballpark fare and head to our seats.  Of course, there are people in our seats, so we sit in some open ones so we can catch the singing.  The kids were great of course.  The people who had the seats we were sitting in now show up.  So we have to move the very large family that decided to sit in ours.  Fifteen minutes and a few dirty looks later we finally sit down.

Game starts and all the choir kids swarm back to their seats.  We have the very unfortunate situation that our new venue sits us right in front of the sopranos.  Every time the signboard says "Noise" they let out blood curdling screams that must have broken the windows on the Space Shuttle.  And somehow in all of this, my date is planted between myself and my mom.  I don't have to worry about the kids jumping all over him, right?  I didn't think I'd have to watch out for mom though lol....  Actually, Mom kept him occupied with numerous stories the rest of us have heard a million times.  It's hard for her to pass up a new audience.  He even almost caught a fly ball headed for my mom's head (I had nothing to do with that - I promise), but the choir teacher gave him the look of death as he went for it so I'm sure he had no choice but to let it go.

He finally gives in to the temptation to quench his thirst as well.  This guy is so great that he doesn't want to drink in front of the kids, so we head to third base.  We joke about what an insane night it is and the thought crosses my mind that maybe I should start taking car keys at the beginning of the night - kind of a designated driver thing.  Ya know - if I have their keys it will be a lot harder to run lol.... As we are sitting there, another fly ball is headed directly for us.  I stand up to catch it, turn to the right, and proceed to knock his beer over with my camera case.  Thank God it just went on the ground and not all over him.  I'm almost to the point of tears by now because really - could this possibly get any more Murphy's Law?  I just really wanted to get the game ball for him.  I buy him another beer and we steal a few more minutes of relative peace and quiet.

On our way back we get ensnared by Kiara wanting money for a glow stick for her and her friend.  She tells my date "Mom said you were going to spoil us."  Yeah, that's Kiara.  Being the gentleman that he is, he looks to me making sure it is OK and grants her wish.  Before we even sat down, Brianna coyly asks for some ice cream.  This prince takes her for a double scoop chocolate ice cream in a waffle cone.   Luckily Jacob was preoccupied with other things or my date would have had to take out a loan.

The rest of the game is fairly uneventful all things considered (except for the crimson tinge on my suitor's cheeks brought about by my mother's serenade).  We won the game.  Ended with a great fireworks show.  Mom took the kids home for a sleepover so we could finish our date in a bit of normalcy (Thank you Mom!).

So, there I was: bottom of the ninth, two outs, bases loaded, down by two runs.  And yet somehow the bat found the sweet spot.  I managed to find a small hole in the universe and hit one out of the park.  No, that's not right.  The universe hit one for me.  God sent me a truly amazing man that could survive a night with my family.  Any other guy would have passed on a night like this.  Or left at the ticket booth.  Or gone to the bathroom and never came back.  But he stayed.  I didn't even have to take his keys.  And if I look to my right, he's still standing there.  With a smile on his face.