Thursday, December 30, 2010

Blank Pages

"We will open the book.  Its pages are blank.  We are going to put words on them ourselves.  The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day." ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Ahh.  New Year's Eve.  The end of 2010.  The end of a very long road for some.  The beginning of a new journey for others.  The finality of a period of great changes for me.

What a year!  I was in a different state a twelve months ago.  Not only by location, but a completely different state of mind.  Hope had dwindled.  Dreams long lost and thrown by the wayside.  I was very much trapped in a self-made prison with just glimpses of what might have been.

Funny, as I type this, I realize that I was probably very much depressed.  Funny because if you know me, I am never depressed.  Of course, if you truly know me, you also know I hide my real feelings very well.  Too well sometimes.  I didn't realize how sad I was.  I just knew I wasn't happy.  I guess it's like not knowing just how dark it is until someone turns on a light.

Well, the light was turned on for me.  In so many ways.  I felt the glow of warmth from someone who really cared for me and showed me I was worth it.  A hand was held out for me to pull me out of that pit.  I was carried in the loving hands of God throughout my journey back home.  He gave me the strength and the courage to embark on this new life.   The delicate ties of friendship were strengthened with quite a few people and re-strung with others.  I have become closer to my children and to my family. 

Somewhere along the way I started to find myself.  Didn't know that I was looking (or lost lol).  Really.  I thought that I knew just who I was when I came back.  Now I realize that even I don't know myself that well.  Or maybe I'm changing.  Or Cleveland is changing me.  And I'm not done yet.  I can feel it.  There's more just around the bend.  New adventures to experience and new encounters to make.  Who knows?  

I mean, less than eight months ago I didn't even have a clue that I would be here now, back home, single at forty.  More confident (most of the time).  In a better place spiritually.  Enjoying my job.  Looking forward to waking up the next day and not staying up all night avoiding the inevitable.  Alright, well I get more sleep than I used to anyways.  But now I am filling more of my time using my talents.  Sharing what I've been given with others.

So, I haven't made it yet, wherever there is.  But I'm on a better path.  A road less taken obviously.  One with a lot more scenic views.  Probably a few more detours.  And definitely a lot more memory-making adventures.  I've got a lot of learning left to do.  In the meantime, I will be composing my story, and hopefully taking you on my amazing excursion.  Can't wait to see what the next chapters hold!  I hope everyone has the most incredible and blessed New Year!

P.S. Just what will you be writing on those empty pages? :)


  1. What a great post Michele...It has been quite a year for you and it should only get better. I'm so happy that you are finding yourself and like yourself too! So important. Happy New Year!!

  2. My sweet Michele. I would have never dreamed this time last year you would have any had a desire to take charge. I thought you were in charge but the love light started to fade and it showed. I miss you so much but I am so proud to have such a courageous friend. I only hope that someday I can release my fears and show my creativity. Hats off to you! Please take a bow.

  3. Wow, Michele! You are amazing! So inspiring! What will I be writing??? Hopefully something that inspires others and not just some random sketching. One of my favorite Chris Rice songs says something about that in the first verse. Second verse says: Every day is a bank account and time is our currency. Nobody's rich, nobody's poor. We get 24 hours each. So how are you gonna spend? Will you invest, or squander? Try to get ahead or help someone who's under?

    I want to invest, but I have a tendancy to squander. It's something I'll definitely work on and pray about.

    P.S. I think I might borrow that saying in a few hours. :o)

  4. I was going to comment on your other tab, but I can't. I wanted to mention that handwriting problems are very very common in kids with ADHD. It's my daughter's HARDEST subject by FAR! She gets tired and frustrated very easily with it, and I have to give lots of breaks in between working on it. I'm sure it's worse with the pressure of having to get a certain homework assignment done by the next day, but maybe break it up into 5-10 minute sessions with a physical activity as a break in between? When I'm working on it with my daughter at home, we do some handwriting, then jump on the trampoline, more handwriting, a fun sensory activity, etc. I also let her chew gum or sit on an exercise ball while she's writing and that helps a lot because she's able to move her body while still focusing her arm/hand on the writing.

    Also, SOCKS! Oh, the socks! Does he have to wear socks to school? If not, I would let him go without. My daughter hasn't worn socks in probably 3 years. She doesn't wear them ever. Not with sandals, crocs, tennis shoes, boots, or snow boots. I figure she'll tell me if her feet are cold. Otherwise, it is not worth the struggle. I don't even like socks - I just don't kick and scream about them. Just a thought!