Wednesday, December 22, 2010


"The biggest mistake you can make in your life is to be continually fearing you will make one."~Elbert Hubbard

Well, this quote pretty much fits how I've been acting lately.  I haven't been able to put my finger on it.  I've been holding back in every aspect of my life.  Meek is a really good word to describe it.  It's been driving me nuts (not a far drive I know).  I've either been afraid I could succeed or was afraid I could.  I was so scared of messing things up that I couldn't move forward.

I put a stop (for the most part) to this last Wednesday.  I had gotten myself in a pretty good mess at work because I wasn't being forceful enough with certain people and I was missing deadlines because of it.  Someone even had the nerve to call me the "good cop."  That's when I knew I had let it go to far.  

I mean me - the good cop?  For those who have had the fortune (or misfortune) to work with me have at some point had a glimpse at my fiery Irish temper.  I don't sit back and accept being blown off when someone is supposed to be doing something for me.  Yet that's exactly what I have been doing.  So I buckled down this week and figured if I was going to get fired, it would be because I did what I thought was right and took no prisoners and not because I laid down and got run over.  And it worked.  Fabulously.  I even got a "perfect" from my customer.  Whoohoo!

As I said, I am letting this happen in all areas of my life.  Not just work.  I seem to have lost my voice (perhaps a blessing in disguise to others).  I don't know if I've lost my confidence because so many things were going wrong at once.  I wish I knew what the trigger was.  I think it was more of a compilation of little things.  Well, I'm going to start changing this too.  Hey - I even signed up for a Karate class.  And they are giving me weapons (bwahahaha)!

So,  I'm done with being afraid.  At least with letting fear rule my decisions. I am going to attempt to go back to taking control of my life -- at least the parts I can control.  I have a week or so before the New Year to regroup and prepare for the battles that lie ahead.  Maybe those weapons might help... :) 


  1. Michele...I think that as far as work goes this has happened to anybody who had responsibilities; i.e. supervisor, manager, projects, etc. It probably happened at about the same time something in your personal life causing about the same reaction. If I had a dime for every time I said, "I am so tired of being tired or so tired of dealing with stress or blah, blah, blah". You're human, you're living a new life, and you've got kids. Cut yourself a break and just focus again. Hugs