Patience

"Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience.  Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence." - Hal Borland

"Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears." - Barbara Johnson 

For those of you who know me, you know I was not blessed with an abundance of patience to begin with and most likely a bit too much of persistence.  Now I have a little over a month to move, find a job, find a place to live, get my kids registered for school, and a million other little details.  It's a bit difficult to be calm with all of these things on my mind.  It really hit me today.  I am wound tighter than a two-dollar watch (gotta get the Southern sayings in while I still can).  I've been praying - a lot.  Maybe I'm not saying the right prayer or not giving my worries to God.  Even my "Message From God" on FB told me to relax.  How did it know?  

So I do what I do best when I'm worried: divide and conquer.  I've mapped out the schools to the apartments for rent and the foreclosed homes.  The school district won't give me a map so I have to call with each individual address to see which school they would go to.  They are going to be really tired of me before this is all over.  And which school will be the best?  The one down the street from my brother?  The one with the honors program (I would hate to have my kids at two different schools right now)?  The smaller one with more personal attention?  Tough decision...

Now I get to try to figure out where to live based upon which school I pick.  Or is it the other way around?  Do I get the smaller place that is cheaper, the bigger place to give us room to move, or the one closest to the school?  And how are we going to get my piano upstairs if I get a second floor apartment?

It just keeps getting worse from there, so I'll stop before someone commits me.   I'd try to idle my motor, but I think I've already stripped out all of the gears.  I know everything will fall into place (or I'll force it to happen because I also happen to be just the slightest bit stubborn).   I just haven't figured out how to step back and relax.  There's so much to do so how can I just sit around and wait for it to happen on it's own?  I don't understand that.  It seems counter-productive to me.  

So I'm trying to breathe.  Taking it one hour at a time.   Trying to let go.  Hoping and praying that it will all work out.  It's not just me I have to worry about now.  I'll let you know how it goes...