Saturday, July 31, 2010

Throwing Rocks

"Sometimes there just aren't enough rocks." ~Forrest Gump

So I catch Forrest Gump somewhere in the middle of the movie tonight and I hear this quote.  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  I've watched the movie a million times before and never really paid attention to that part.  Or maybe I'm just more open to certain things right now.  I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately.  Well, I don't know if that's really the right terminology.  As I've been packing, I've been going down memory lane a lot.  Like pretty much constantly for the past two weeks.  

So why is it that as we get older we have a hard time remember a lot of the good times but the bad times sneak up on us when we least expect them? I mean, I'm sitting there with my kids watching TV and bam - out of nowhere comes this flood of emotions.  Lucky for me Jacob had just poked me in the cheek with a toy sword (don't ask) so I had a good alibi for the tears. 

I've found I have a lot of rocks to throw.  Nothing I want to go into here believe it or not.  Some things are too painful not only to me but to others.  I'm one of those people that would rather take on the hurt rather than ever hurt someone else.  I think we all have memories we would rather erase from our past.  Unfortunately for us even the bad stuff molded us into the people we are today.  For better or worse.  

Since we can't annihilate these memories, just what are we supposed to do with them?  Some people wallow in them and wear them like a badge for everyone to see.  Some bury them so deeply hoping they never resurface. I guess I'm somewhere in the middle.  I let people see a lot of my problems.  I guess it's a form of therapy for me.  Besides, I'm Irish and it is NOT a good thing for me to keep things bottled up.  But there are some things I don't share with many if anyone at all.  These have definitely been sneaking to the surface. Tonight just happened to be one of those nights.  

So what do we do with the baggage that is able to reduce us to a pile of rubble even during the most innocent of movies?   Well, for me,  I will do like I always do and pick up the pieces and go on.  I am supermom.  I carry a bottle of superglue for such occasions.  Broken Bakugans, Barbie dolls, and yes, even myself if need be.  And I will be picking up some rocks to throw along the way, stockpiling a few for the next time.

1 comment:

  1. This is so true! You never really know when certain emotions will creep up. I am glad I stopped in today and read your blog. I now know I am not alone with these feelings. I just know that with God's help I can cry a little-or a lot-and keep on going! Thanks Michele!
    Love, Vicki