Monday, September 27, 2010

The End (?)

"There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind.  But keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world, it's the beginning of a new life." ~Anonymous

Today is the day.  That day. The end.  Or the beginning.  Depends on how you look at it.   Today is the last day of my marriage.  The first day of the rest of my life.  Sign a few papers and that's it.

For those who know me, you know how much I value my faith.  I took my vows very seriously.  I never planned this.  Never wanted to think of an end.  Perhaps I did not do everything I could have, but I did everything I was capable of.  There was fault on both sides.

Today is not a day for placing blame.  It is a day for finality.  A point in time.  A small dot in the view of the big picture.  Yet a huge milestone in my life.  I am letting go of the appearance of the big happy family.  I am admitting failure in a portion of my life.  Showing my imperfection to the world.

But that's not all I am letting go of.  I am also releasing my grip on a promise.  A whisper of a possibility of what might have been.  A tenuous hold at best on a dream.  It was never meant to be.  Never truly mine to begin with.  It was a beautiful, very special time that ended before it really began.  Nonetheless I will miss it terribly. 

So today I move on.  I persevere.  I make a new life.  New stories.  New memories.  New dreams.  Yet I will glance back every so often, not with regret, but with fondness of what was and what never could be...


  1. Personally, I see divorce not as a failure but as someone who is strong enough and independent enough to change a bad situation. There are way too many people who are still married and are just miserable with their lives but are afraid to step outside of their comfort zone. Kudos to you and may your new life be filled with happiness and self confidence to your hearts content.

  2. I think you are a very strong person for what you are doing. Getting out of a bad situation. I know that you and i have been brought up to value contracts, vows as a forever thing but sometimes that just is not so.