Sunday, September 5, 2010

It's My Life

"It's my life
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just wanna live while I'm alive

My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"
I just wanna live while I'm alive

'Cause it's my life" 
~Sung by Bon Jovi

A little departure from my usual poetic and meaningful quotes.  But I've had a strange weekend.  More drama and heard this song.  It's kind of my anthem for now.  Granted, I created some of the drama, but still...

You see, I have my own place now.  It's my safe haven.  I didn't realize just how much it was until yesterday.  I have company and it felt like an invasion of privacy.  On many, many levels.  I mean, I'm all healed and everything is peachy keen, right?  Wrong.  Apparently not.  I have a ways to go.  I lashed out at this person and then went out as an escape from dealing.  Not good for me.  I should have just dealt with it.  Going out just made coming home that much worse.

And then it was implied that I was a bad mom because I went out.  Oh, no you don't.  That's off limits.  I love my kids more than I love life itself.  Anyone who knows me understands this.  I left them in safe and capable hands and spent some time de-stressing with some friends.  The band played this song while I was out.  I took it to heart.

So, it is MY life.  (I should've used the Billy Joel song, but this is the one they played).  I'm allowed to live it my way.  I only have to answer to myself and the Man upstairs.  I'm going to take some time out for myself.  I deserve it. 

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